We're having a baby ...

(Disclaimer: No, Scott and I are not having a baby ... )

So ... Vice President Dick Cheney's out lesbian daughter is pregnant (from an unknown source) and will be having a baby with Heather Poe, her lesbian partner of 15 years.

Let that sink in a little. A little more, now. Are we ready to think a little more?

She and her partner live in Virginia. A state that has passed some of the most vehement anti-gay laws ever, especially (and most recently) against gay marriage.

In the state that they live in, Mary and her partner will have no legal rights as a couple. Even by jumping through the legal hoops and setting up wills, Durable Power of Attorney contracts for financial management (witnessed by at least two people and notarized), Delegation of Authority contracts (also notarized), and Durable Power of Attorney Contracts for Health Care (also witnessed by at least two people and notarized), which is the least that Scott and I have to go through in the State of Washington (at our own expense) to cover our asses as life partners, Mary and her partner will still possibly have no legal access to each other or even joint finances in the event of one's medical emergency or death. Mary's partner will have absolutely no legal access to "their" child. She cannot legally adopt it. If Mary passes on, her partner will most likely have to give the child up to the state for adoption. As the law sees it (and I am certainly no expert, but if I am incorrect please tell me where I should get more information), Mary is basically a single mother with a baby being born out of wedlock and no one else (except perhaps Dick and Lynne?) has claim to anything that Mary has earned, loved, or given birth to. No one. Not even with legal documents that she may have to pay for (with her own hard-earned money, of course) to show that she, in a sound state of mind and body, shared with her partner of fifteen years the desire to love each other, take care of each other, hope upon oh-please-dear-god-let-us-be-blessed-with-a-wanted-child hope that they could raise a family because it's what they want and believe in and have a heartbreakingly acute desire to bring an actual beloved child into the world instead of oops-I'm-pregnant-oh-well-there's-always-welfare-here's-another-potentially-abused-welfare-kid-for-the-country-to-take-care-of-but-not-me ...

Let's let that sink in a little, shall we?

I know that not every unplanned child becomes an abused welfare statistic. I know that many children born out of wedlock are still wanted and loved and very well cared for. I know that many people in the situation of an unplanned pregnancy, where they cannot give the child a fair start in life (and one doesn't have to be raised in a wealthy home), make the extremely brave and unselfish and supremely loving decision to give their child up for adoption.

I also know that in the neighborhood where I live, there are a lot of single unwed teenaged mothers who do not have the means, either emotionally or financially or in any way, to raise a child ... well, I've seen my share of innocent children getting yelled at, slapped or worse because the parents are not ready or even willing to be parents, whether married or even together in any way or not, enough to know in the deepest part of my heart that if someone truly wants a child, to love and raise and guide and nurture and have what is best for them to the best of their abilities with no sacrifice too great, should not be denied the ability and the right to do what is, well, the right thing to do. To love and cherish and help and guide a child into becoming an educated, thoughtful, sympathetic, well-rounded adult member of our society.

So yes, I think that Mary and Heather should have this child. They should love it and help it and should have absolutely no encumberance to its' growth and life that any straight couple would not have to endure.

But will that be the case? Will they have to move to another state to have this available to them? Should they have to? Will the path somehow be paved more evenly for them due to Mary's political "clout"? And if it is ... what of everyone else who struggles against the bigotry that has been voted for by the people in whatever state they reside? Should Mary's choice to have a child be made any easier, or should she and Heather have to deal with what every other gay child-loving couple in the country has to put up with?

What will be the reaction from her parents, from the White House, from the country?

Will this make a difference, or be swept oh-so-conveniently under the rug?

And I am purposefully not commenting at all on my individual feelings about Mary Cheney. That's not the issue here.




I would love to have children. Scott would love to, more than I would. I'm worried that we're too old, that I don't have the patience, that it would be too hard and unfair and we can't afford to do it right and that maybe the rest of the country and the world is right. It's exhausting, mentally and physically and emotionally, and I wish more people in the world would go through similar anguish before bringing another child into this world. But if a couple, or a single person, goes through that anguish and still wants to have a child for the right reasons ... I want them to be able to have full support to do so.

So bless you and good luck, Mary and Heather. I hope upon neverending hope that this makes a difference - not just in your lives, but in everyone's lives. Whether you wanted it or not, you have thrust your lives and your upcoming parenthood into a spotlight. Don't let any of us down.