Sunday, February 18, 2007

Pencils ... notebooks ... new backpack ...

(My first day of kindergarten - 1972)



So, tomorrow I start my new job. At 9:00 a.m. I'll be let into The Building (it's a secure entry) and see exactly what it is I'm in for. And honestly - I'm not completely sure. I know it's a new position, to help absorb overflow work from the accounting manager and others. I also know that they are a little unorganized right now, and part of my job will be to pull together an idea of just how unorganized and start getting things in order, including writing policies and procedures and recommending possible changes in the department structure. I also know that they are scrambling to even have a desk and a computer ready for me. So ... this could be fascinating, or it could be a test of my ability to stay calm in the face of chaos.



I vividly remember the feeling when I was a kid as the first day of school was approaching each year; not exactly panic, but an increasing sense of unease. I've always been a big worrier and have spent my whole life working at controlling my habit of obsessing about upcoming changes and "what ifs". I TOTALLY have that feeling today - the nervousness, the queasiness. The only way for me to work with that is to stay busy and make sure that there's nothing for me to forget or be rushed through in the morning. I'm getting all the housecleaning and laundry done today so that nothing has to be done during the week, picking out my "first day of school" outfit and getting it ironed, getting something ready for my lunch, packing some things into my shoulder bag. I feel like I should be looking through an assortment of brand new, multi-colored folders and notebooks and pencils, loading them into a brand new backpack, and putting it next to my brand-new overly-bright new Nikes by the front door, just like I did before starting 5th grade. It's amazing how well I remember that feeling, and that I'm feeling that as a middle-aged (!) man. Silly, isn't it ...

12 comments:

KipEsquire said...

You're starting your new job on a holiday?

Suddenly I'm worried about you...

Matt said...

I don't think I've ever worked anyplace that was closed for Presidents' Day ...

Michael said...

I love that picture! Your mom and mine must have shopped at the same place because I looked exactly like that on my first day of school, too!

Good luck with your first day at the new job. Don't forget to put a little note of affirmation in your lunch box: "You're good enough, you're smart enough and gosh darn it, people like you!"

Matt said...

Michael, I'm glad it wasn't just me ...

I love the idea about the affirmation note in my lunchbox!! I just may do that ...

:) Thanks.

Scott said...

Good Luck, Matt! You'll do great! By the way...don't wear THOSE pants tomorrow. ;-)

LSL said...

This is the sweetest, sweetest post, and that picture is too cute. You look so eager, and that belt is perfect. Too cute.

I love this post and how you describe your feelings and relate them to the first day of school jitters. I hope your day tomorrow is great! We're all thinking of you!

Wayne said...

Change and the unknown of a new situation always makes me a little uneasy. But You'll be fine!

Paul said...

I just love the way parents document the first day of school. I'd love to see a complete gallery of these photos!

Hopefully, you've got nice new classmates.

john said...

I always have a feeling of unease for any first day!
Good luck!!
I packed a cookie with your sandwich.

Scott said...

Hey Matt..

How was the first day???

Matt said...

John, that was sweet - thanks. :)

Cousin jo said...

OH my gosh, look at those pants! LOL!