When I started this blog, since I wasn't working, I was able to spend more time looking for - and considering - subjects to post about.
But as we all know, since work takes up so much of our lives, it's hard to keep it going during the normal crazy work week. Obviously, I've fallen into that abyss. After such a long vacation from the working world, it's hard to get back into the mode of working full-time, spending my days off doing household chores (which I've been HORRIBLE at lately) and still trying to maintain a semi-interesting blog. Although, I've noticed that I get more readership and comments from what I consider to be mundane posts than from the opinionated, politically- and socially-oriented posts I write. So I'm guessing y'all are more interested in my life than in my overstated opinions. Point taken. Few people want to read my long-winded rants, and prefer to read about more personal items. Not an issue - I'm still discovering my place in the blog world.
So what's been going in in Matterdays' world recently?
I honestly do like the job I'm doing right now. There are obstacles - the fact that I'm only a "temporary" employee for at least the next five months, the fact that my department has been so overwhelmed/understaffed/turned-over for so long that we're in a reactionary, working-by-the-seat-of-our pants mode 24/7, the ongoing fact that the higher-ups tend to take no notice or interest in the overwhelming day-to-day operations that we need to do and demand huge time- and resource-commanding projects (unknown to us until they're demanded) and want them done, oh, yesterday. Those are some big issues to me. But does anyone really want to read about the huge Medicare project I worked on for over a week (which didn't lead to the results the Board of Directors wanted to hear)? Or of the banging-my-head-on-my-desk issues I'm facing with the non-profit foundation of the clinic (which I'm supposed to be taking over from a financial statement front) where I have to face the misunderstandings that have been going on for months before I arrived? Or of my own shortcomings that I'm seeing in some projects that the management wanted to be solved and "made to go away" once some unknown warm body arrived on the scene?
So ... I'm still in negotiations with the firm I used to work for, for a management position they want me to return to do. Am I really qualified? If I returned, would I face the same obstacles that plagued me in my prior position with the firm? Are they expecting things I can't accomplish? Has the culture and hierarchy really changed enough to keep me happy there? They know from my past performance what I can do ... but am I being realistic when I'm considering returning to that world, and thinking I'll actually make a difference?
Is Matterdays just having a bad week and needs something to boost his confidence? Hell, yes.
I'm meeting with the controller and assistant controller from my old firm on Friday for lunch. We're supposed to talk about the "particulars" of my potential return to that company. Like before, I've never been in this position, so I'm not quite sure what to expect. Supposedly, all the members of the management team (including the CFO, who's out of town) are "delighted" to hear that I'm considering going back to work there. But, this time I'm meeting with not only the controller, but the manager who was my boss for the seven years I was there. I'm nervous, to be honest. I'm not sure that she could truly see me as an equal, a member of the core team and management of the department. The controller, whom I had lunch with the other week, I know will respect and accept me in this new role ... but I'm just so unsure about everyone else. I'm uneasy about this upcoming meeting, and I'm trying to think of every possible thing I might have to encounter and answer to. And, on the other hand, I'm trying to keep not only my self-confidence, but the idea that they are courting me, and that it's actually up to them to convince me to return, and not the other way around.
On a completely unrelated note - Scott and I are going to a "sushi party" at the house of some great friends this weekend. We're all supposed to bring our "favorites" for making sushi together. I don't think that I've ever really EATEN sushi. Does anyone have some ideas for what to bring that's really tasty? I was thinking some salmon, some cooked (cold) shrimp, some avocado and some cucumber ... but does anyone have some great ideas?
Off to bed ...