When I started this blog, since I wasn't working, I was able to spend more time looking for - and considering - subjects to post about.
But as we all know, since work takes up so much of our lives, it's hard to keep it going during the normal crazy work week. Obviously, I've fallen into that abyss. After such a long vacation from the working world, it's hard to get back into the mode of working full-time, spending my days off doing household chores (which I've been HORRIBLE at lately) and still trying to maintain a semi-interesting blog. Although, I've noticed that I get more readership and comments from what I consider to be mundane posts than from the opinionated, politically- and socially-oriented posts I write. So I'm guessing y'all are more interested in my life than in my overstated opinions. Point taken. Few people want to read my long-winded rants, and prefer to read about more personal items. Not an issue - I'm still discovering my place in the blog world.
So what's been going in in Matterdays' world recently?
Work.
I honestly do like the job I'm doing right now. There are obstacles - the fact that I'm only a "temporary" employee for at least the next five months, the fact that my department has been so overwhelmed/understaffed/turned-over for so long that we're in a reactionary, working-by-the-seat-of-our pants mode 24/7, the ongoing fact that the higher-ups tend to take no notice or interest in the overwhelming day-to-day operations that we need to do and demand huge time- and resource-commanding projects (unknown to us until they're demanded) and want them done, oh, yesterday. Those are some big issues to me. But does anyone really want to read about the huge Medicare project I worked on for over a week (which didn't lead to the results the Board of Directors wanted to hear)? Or of the banging-my-head-on-my-desk issues I'm facing with the non-profit foundation of the clinic (which I'm supposed to be taking over from a financial statement front) where I have to face the misunderstandings that have been going on for months before I arrived? Or of my own shortcomings that I'm seeing in some projects that the management wanted to be solved and "made to go away" once some unknown warm body arrived on the scene?
So ... I'm still in negotiations with the firm I used to work for, for a management position they want me to return to do. Am I really qualified? If I returned, would I face the same obstacles that plagued me in my prior position with the firm? Are they expecting things I can't accomplish? Has the culture and hierarchy really changed enough to keep me happy there? They know from my past performance what I can do ... but am I being realistic when I'm considering returning to that world, and thinking I'll actually make a difference?
Is Matterdays just having a bad week and needs something to boost his confidence? Hell, yes.
I'm meeting with the controller and assistant controller from my old firm on Friday for lunch. We're supposed to talk about the "particulars" of my potential return to that company. Like before, I've never been in this position, so I'm not quite sure what to expect. Supposedly, all the members of the management team (including the CFO, who's out of town) are "delighted" to hear that I'm considering going back to work there. But, this time I'm meeting with not only the controller, but the manager who was my boss for the seven years I was there. I'm nervous, to be honest. I'm not sure that she could truly see me as an equal, a member of the core team and management of the department. The controller, whom I had lunch with the other week, I know will respect and accept me in this new role ... but I'm just so unsure about everyone else. I'm uneasy about this upcoming meeting, and I'm trying to think of every possible thing I might have to encounter and answer to. And, on the other hand, I'm trying to keep not only my self-confidence, but the idea that they are courting me, and that it's actually up to them to convince me to return, and not the other way around.
*sigh*
On a completely unrelated note - Scott and I are going to a "sushi party" at the house of some great friends this weekend. We're all supposed to bring our "favorites" for making sushi together. I don't think that I've ever really EATEN sushi. Does anyone have some ideas for what to bring that's really tasty? I was thinking some salmon, some cooked (cold) shrimp, some avocado and some cucumber ... but does anyone have some great ideas?
Off to bed ...
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5 comments:
A confidence tip: remember that your old employer would not be talking to you if they thought you couldn't do the job. In fact, they're talking to you because they KNOW you can do it.
Sushi? ... I don't do it. But I'm always glad when the menu has chicken tenders on a skewer, basted with orange garlic sauce.
mmmmmm I'm a tuna fan myself. the really good fresh sushi grade tuna just MELTS in your mouth... amazing.
If you would rather not do fish (I probably wouldn't) there are some great vegetarian rolls you could look into.
Roe is also kind of a cool accessory to sushi... some brightly colored (orange or red) roe for rolling rice balls in...
There must be a few AMAZING Asian supermarkets in the greater Seattle area... might be fun just to go cruise the aisles and see what strikes your fancy.
Don't forget SAKE. Or a selection of cool Asian beers.
Can't wait to hear what a "sushi" party is like.
Mmmmmm, I wish I could go to the sushi party with you! Head on down to the Pike Place Fish Market and you should be able to find the freshest salmon for making sushi! The key to really good sushi is freshness. I was in a sushi restaurant once that, forgive me if this is too graphic- killed the shrimp and fish as they were making the sushi rolls. Mmmmmm!
If you're not a raw sushi fan, avacado, cooked crab and seaweed are all good ingredients for a nice california roll.
No sushi, meat, or fish for this kid...sorry...no help here.
And Here all this time I thought you were getting more settled, things quieting down, and consistency has (once again) reigned in your life and home. Alas, I am wrong. I wish you well in the negotiations and all. Sounds terribly unsettled.....and, by the way, it doesn't matter when you post or how often. It's your blog, my friend....do with it as you like. We'll all be here when you get back.
I totally don't do sushi (even after four years in Japan!) but I'm really glad to get an update on the job situation. And I'm glad you posted even while having a hard week. We're here to help boost your confidence!
For some reason, I think I understand your nerves about this. And I'll say again that I think it's about making a choice and making it work, not agonizing over what the "right" choice is. But I also wanted to say that you're so obviously sharp and articulate and I think a lot of your personality comes across on your blog. (By the way, please don't stop blogging!) You have a lot to be confident about.
Last thought - I've only worked in one field for most of my career, but I can say that I think all jobs are screwed up in some way. There will be crap to deal with at both places (sounds like there already is!) - and there will be good, fun things, too. I bet you could do really great at either place. And we'll still be here to support you!
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