You Must Remember This.

“A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.” - Ingrid Bergman

What The Hell Is Wrong With Our Society??????

On Halloween night, two police officers parked on the side of a street near our home were ambushed, with one murdered. The city was in shock, with a huge memorial immediately forming at the site, candlelight vigils, the whole nine yards. Not just in our neighborhood - which is on and off a center of horrible violence - but everywhere. You just don't kill cops just because they're cops. You just don't.

Sunday morning at about 8:15, four police officers in a coffee shop in Parkland, a suburb of Tacoma (about 30 miles south of here), were murdered. A man walked in, pretended to place an order at the counter, then turned and executed the officers as they were getting ready for their shift. The murderer is still not captured - although there was a night-long vigil at a home in the Leschi neighborhood (just south of us) where he was last seen, and apparently another surveillance tonight in Renton, just south of Seattle.

Now, I understand that there has been talk of retalliation against Seattle police for brutality in some arrests recently. I don't discount that. That, in and by itself, is disgusting. And hopefully, being investigated and corrected. I get it.

But "an eye for an eye" leaves both sides blind.

All of these officers were, quite blatantly, executed. These were not any officers who had any dealings, to public knowledge, in any case that would call for retaliation. These were hard-working members of a force that is sworn to protect us. These were fathers and mothers who leave behind families who will grieve for the rest of their lives. These were mentors, teachers, people who I wish I had known. These were people who were murdered for the mere fact that they wore a badge and had devoted their lives to the protection of people that they didn't even know. People like the cowards who decided that they weren't worthy of living.

This is all "alleged". Nothing has been solved. And I'm a pretty far-left leaning liberal, who is supposed to fight for the rights of anybody, no matter what they "allegedly" did.

But what the hell is going on in our society???

You kill because you have a beef with the police??? WHY DO YOU HAVE A BEEF WITH THE POLICE??? Is it perhaps possible that you did something that you SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE that got in into trouble in the first place??

I am less and less tolerant the longer I live in this neighborhood. Yes, it's true - you have been living a down-trodden, unlucky life. That in iteself is not your fault. Yes, you've been left out of the good-luck lottery. I get it. I DO get it. I support all kinds of things that will help you. I want you to succeed.

But really. Seriously?? This is what will lift you up, will make your life worthwhile, will show the whole damned world that you are as good as everyone else???

Our neighborhood, our city, our lives are in turmoil right now because there is no respect for authority, for right and wrong, for society, for anything but "an eye for an eye"?





This, truly, is our downfall. The idea that no one is better than "me". We're all in this together. C'mon - this isn't the way to do this. And the fact that this alleged assasin should have been put away for life (another idea that I strongly am disagreeing with - with some, there is no "rehabilitation") is even more dusgusting. How should this person have been "treated"? How far do we go in trying to rehabilitate someone? When do we know that someone should be released back into the world, with the risk that they're going to do something evil, and harmful, and life-altering to someone and to their friends and family and the world and that we should just take that risk???



I realize I'm ranting and am writing in frustration, so I'm ready to take my lumps. I just don't get it. I don't understand - or agree with - the "eye for an eye" mentality. You look at the pictures of these officers, of their families, of what this is doing to my city, and you explain to me that it's right. Please explain it to me ... I have no perception of this.

In Which I'm Told I Destroy Marriage and Threaten Children.

Scott and I headed up to Lynnwood yesterday, to buy some more Halloween decorations (Scott has a problem) and to go to Alderwood Mall to find a few new clothes for me. Luckily, Scott has worked in Lynnwood for many years (although he just transferred to Northgate), so he could navigate us around easily - I get lost when I get out of the city. What we didn't expect was to come across hundreds of protesters rallying against Referendum 71 - which is on the ballot for next month's election to uphold Washington State's domestic partnership law, which grants state rights to same-sex couples and domestic partners over the age of 62.

We were enraged. Yes, everyone has the right to hold and voice their opinions - but this was unreal. Apparrently this group came from a Russian Baptist church in Eastern Washington, and has been very vocal in their opposition of granting us and other same-sex couples any rights whatsoever.

What really appalled me was the number of high-school-aged (and younger) kids who were out there holding signs. Yes, we learn values from our parents and families (most of us), but I don't truly believe that these kids honestly know what they're protesting against other than "people who aren't like us". That's what they are learning from this. It's okay to oppress people who you don't know anything about other than that you've been told they are not like you, and therefore not as good as you (or not good at all).

I know, I know ... I'm preaching to the choir, so why even bother?

Because in the off chance that one of those people who were carrying these signs reads - actually reads - this post, maybe they'll think about this.

Quoting the bible isn't enough. The bible was written by man, not god. There are examples (in the Old Testament) you can pull from it that say that homosexuality is a sin. There are examples you can pull from it that say don't wear white after Labor Day, if you want to spin it enough (I wouldn't be surprised if that's happened already). It's really about interpretation of ancient beliefs based on the time they were written. If those books had been written today, they'd have a different meaning. Depending on who would have written them. Interpretation is huge.

Securing rights for domestic partnerships is not tantamount to gay marriage. Sure, it may lead the way - and of course I'm for that - but you're putting the cart before the horse. That's not what this is about.

My big fat domestic partnership is not attacking the sanctity of your opposite-sex marriage. You can be opposite-married all you want. If Scott and I being together has attacked your marriage or any others', there are much bigger fish to fry. Look in the mirror.

Feel an overwhelming need to preserve and protect marriage? Make divorce illegal. I'd be out marching and waving signs for that in a heartbeat.

Think that the very idea of same-sex couples harms children? How? Do a Google search on the percentage of child molesters who are straight.

Think that the way that homosexuality - and same-sex partnerhips - would harm children is that all children will be required to view explicit homosexual pornography in schools and libraries (yes, this is actually an argument that comes up time and time again)? Where did you get that idea? Please tell me where in Referendum 71 this is shown.

Please, those of you who are against these basic civil rights for us - come to my neighborhood. Meet out neighbors. The straight, child-rearing, working and tax-paying and voting neighbors of ours. Ask them of the destruction we have wrought on our neighborhood and their families and their children. Ask them why they allow their children to trick-or-treat at our house. Ask them why they knock on our door when their kids want to see our pets, and actually let them come inside. Ask them why they let us go camping with them and let their kids see us holding hands. Ask them why they bring cans of chicken soup to our house when we have a cold. Ask them why they offer to let us borrow their mixer when ours died and we're trying to make banana bread. Ask them why they ask us to house-sit and cat-sit and bring in their recycling bins when they go on vacation, why they invite us to dinner and parties and why they stop by and talk to us out in the yard, in full view of the world, and laugh with us and wave as they drive by.

And then, look in the mirror and take a good, hard look. And wonder if your god sees them as less than you because they love and accept and yes, sometimes actually TOUCH us.

Referendum 71.

Last May, Washington Governor Christine Gregoire signed into law an expansion of domestic partnership rights that gave same-sex couples and others very close to equal rights regarding "traditional" same-sex married couples.

This has been challenged, and those who oppose this have petitioned and gathered enough signatures to have this put to a vote this fall. While the methods by which they gathered the required number of signatures are dubious at best, this is the law and it now goes to the popular vote.

I encourage everyone to look at both the link above to those who oppose these rights, and to the link to those who are in favor of them.

If you live - and vote - in Washington State, be advised that voting for this referendum means voting for equal rights as domestic partnerships. If you vote against this referendum, you are voting to overturn equal rights for domestic partnerships - and not just same-sex partnerships.

Think carefully. Just think. Try to put yourself in the mind of those who disagree with you - no matter which side you are currently on. Educate yourself. Hear - and listen - to both sides. Decide what you think is really, truly right. Logically, truly, really right.

If you don't live in Washington State, talk to people you know who do. If you don't know anyone who lives here, talk to people you know anyway. Have discussions, dialogue, conversations - not flag-waving, sign-toting, anger-filled deaf-eared protests (from both sides) ... honest dialogue. Listen to each other.

I'm asking a lot.

Just think. Please.

For the rest of our lives we were told that we weren’t good enough.

A beautifully written post by Dogpoet.

If you beat someone relentlessly, eventually they will stand up to you and defend their territory. Sometimes, it's all they have.

Please please please please please read.

Constitutional Amendments Against Scott and I.

I've had a hard time dealing with this ... I'm sure I should have commented earlier, but I haven't even begun to reconcile my feelings yet.

I will say this:

If you are truly defending the sanctity of your precious marriages, stop getting divorced. Let's pass a constitutional amendment banning THAT. And let ME vote on it.

'Nuf said. Sacred, my ass. If marriage is so damned sacred, pay attention to that little "'til death do us part" line. Remember that?

I've stated my opinions before. Two consenting adults who love each other and want to affirm their relationship as binding, with the legal, cultural and financial benefits available, should be able to marry. Or whatever you want to call it.

If you also want the blessing of a church, fine. Then you can also have a church wedding.

BUT - they should have nothing to do with each other. You can have one, or both. But only the union performed by an agent of the United States government should be legally binding. Anything else - be it a huge taffeta-laden, "Trumpet Voluntary" blaring, fifth-mortgage-on-your-parents' house confection, or a sleazy drunken Vegas-strip slurring your "vows" in front of an Elvis impersonating "minister" - should be just your own pretty little party, with no legal bond considered. You can have one or both.

But don't you dare keep telling me that I can have neither.

I'm waiting for someone to tell me to use the other drinking fountain. Anyone who knows me will tell you I'm an overly nice, peaceful, gentle person - but I'm an inch away from becoming a snarling, cursing, fist-flailing pummeler of the "righteous".

So ... be careful of who you're pissing on ...

Why, More Each Day, I Will Never Vote Republican.

I grew up in a very white, homogeneous, upper-middle-class suburb of Chicago.

We didn't know anyone of a different race. The few other kids in school who weren't white were ... well, different. Not bad, but not us. We always figured they had their own friends, their own activities, their own lives. Different from ours. But we weren't all that curious. They weren't the same as us.

My family, like most others there, was Republican. I didn't have the slightest idea what that meant, but I figured I was a Republican, too.

It's funny now, thinking back to racist comments my oldest brother made once, how my Mom was so angry with him. We absolutely were not raised to be racist - but, knowing nothing else, I didn't understand why she would be upset that he talked about the differences between us and, well ... them. Those other people who had their own lives far removed from us, who didn't know anything about us, either.


In my adult life, I realized that my beliefs and ideals more closely aligned with the Democratic party. And, even more so, that I agreed with liberal ideals. But it's been in the last eight years that I've realized that I could never, EVER vote Republican. Because contrary to the party that my parents believed in, the GOP has swerved away from its' core ideals to the extreme right-wing, ultra-conservative, narrow-minded stereotype of what is the complete opposite of me.

This video epitomizes why I will never, ever, EVER vote Republican ... you can say this is the fringe, the extremists, the uneducated masses, the over-the-top right wing that isn't a true measure of the GOP. But increasingly, this has become the public persona of that party, and the current administration and hopeful candidates are doing nothing to stop that. It is ignorance, and hatred, racism, and egocentricism - and just plain stupidity. This is what I will always, ALWAYS vote against:

Please read this.

From Dave at Blogography.

Thanks, Dave.

Taking Care Of Your Neighbors

Last night, a few houses on our block - and the reflector signs on the traffic circle by our house - got tagged. This pisses us off like crazy. The tags don't seem to be from any known local gangs, just random crap. It's just some people being disrespectful, ignorant, petty and childish. But it really hurts, to have someone deface your property for no known reason.

One of the houses tagged is right across the street from us. Two women in their 80's live there. Their house is modest, but always well cared for, with a neat lawn, carefully-groomed rose bushes, and small pots of geraniums on the porch.

It broke our hearts when one of the women said that she was worried she had been targeted for her race. She and her housemate are black - and while the neighborhood as a whole is a historically black section of Seattle, our block is sometimes called "the white block" by people passing by. We reassured her that their house was not targeted for any reason at all, that there were at least two other houses tagged on the block at random, and that it was a good thing Scott hadn't seen who it was or he woulda knocked their blocks off. She smiled at that.

We ran down to Lowe's and got some GoofOff and rags and a wire brush drill attachment. Then, with our neighbor George, we got to work. We scrubbed and sprayed and buffed for an hour or two. George's kids and some other of the neighbor kids came out and scrubbed with us. Finally, it was looking a little better.

While I was cleaning the reflectors at the traffic circle, a thuggish-looking guy drove by and said "That won't last, man". I said I guess I'd just come out and clean it every time it happened. But as we were all scrubbing our neighbor's garage, a young black woman (I only mention her race because of our neighbor's fear that the graffiti may have been racially motivated) walked by and mentioned how horrible it was that this house had been tagged, but how great it was that we were helping out by cleaning it up.

And that's what we told our neighbor. We need to watch out for each other. They aren't capable of getting out there and scrubbing graffiti off of their walls, but we are. You do what you can to take care of the people around you. Not because we expect them to do something for us, but because we're all in this together. When someone shows disrespect for our neighbors, they show disrespect for us, and we stand together and do what needs to be done.

After we were done, and had hosed down the driveway and promised to come back to re-paint the garage door if it needed it, our neighbor thanked us and wished us a blessed day. We knew that had already happened.

If This Is Important To Anyone, Please Stop Reading My Blog.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

People are all panties-in-a-bunch that Sarah Palin's Newsweek cover wasn't retouched.

WHAT WHAT WHAT?????

Excuse my obvious anger and WTF-ness, but WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I will cut my regular long-winded rant short and simply say: If you are voting for someone based TO ANY EXTENT on their physical appearance - or how it is portrayed in a NEWS MAGAZINE - than I do not care to have any further discussions with you.

Oh, and please do not bother voting. Please.

(And yes, I'm fully aware that I have just stomped all over my usual "I want to hear from every opinion" ideal - but this is just way over the top. Too much. My tolerance is GONE).

And everyone, be very glad that I didn't even get started on this crap.

Don't tell me homophobia and anti-gay hate doesn't exist. Just don't.

I'm sorry, Michael.

Am I preaching too much to the choir?

Following yesterday's post, a comment/e-mail exchange with my good blog friend Paul:


Paul:

Yes, the message needs -- and must be -- changed.

"Being gay" has been been the butt of jokes, an expression of ridicule, and a "simple" derogatory phrase on TV and in the movies for years. As long as I can remember.

Until recently -- within the past couple of years -- it never really bothered me. I just accepted it. And I probably laughed right along with everybody else. Now however, every time I hear it I think, "They didn't really have to say that. Surely the copywriters could have thought of something else."

My favorite TV show is Two and a Half Men. I find every episode intensely funny. Unfortunately, Jake, the 14-year old, has a habit of expressing himself saying "that's gay." And I cringe every time I hear him say it. "Being gay" is obviously negative to Jake, even if he isn't referencing anything sexually. (And, yes, sometimes he is.)

But, Matt, what do we do about it? Talking to the choir doesn't help at all. It doesn't really help if your straight friends/associates don't say "gay things" around you in an attempt to be sensitive to you. They must not say it at all. Anywhere. And, believe it.

I commend Ellen for her monologue. But she needs to go on David Letterman and/or Jay Leno and make the same speech. Perhaps she could change THEIR monologues.

Ellen, and Rosie, and a few others, have a lot of influence in Hollywood and New York. I hope they use it.

I'd like to hear Chad Darnell's perspective on this. Do writers cater to their own beliefs, or the popular opinion of potential viewers? Would a show really lose ratings if derogatory "gay" comments were deleted? (Maybe you should forward my comment to him.)

OK, I'm over it.


Paul, two hours later:


So, I’ve been thinking about your post for a few hours.

Maybe talking to the choir isn’t such a bad idea.

While I can’t change what others do, I do need to change what I do.

I frequently say, “he’s too gay,” referring to a current HGTV host that I don’t like to watch. And, “he’s just too fuckin’ gay,” referring to a cross-dresser that hangs out frequently at one of the same places I sometimes hang out.

The reality is that I’m very judgmental. It’s not just “too gay.” But “too fat.” “Too ugly.” “Too stupid.” “Too tall.” “Too short.” “Too weird.” …

I’m not sure if it’s hatred, but it’s definitely not right.

Nobody should be a second-class citizen.



(Am I in the choir?)



Matt:

Paul,

You hit the nail on the head. Anytime anyone says “(S)he’s too _______ “, it’s a judgment, it’s putting someone down, it’s making someone less than who we are, and it’s definitely not right.

Not that I’m above it all. But recognizing that we do it is at least a step.

Yes, I’m preaching to the choir. For the most part. But I’m also preaching to anyone who stumbles across my blog. And I hope that just one person who comes there accidentally will read and think something they haven’t thought of previously.

I had someone in South Carolina, who I’ve never heard of, invite me to be a Facebook friend. Simply because we have the same last name. It’s an uncommon name. But I accepted his invitation, in part because maybe he’ll find himself exposed to something that he would never have previously been exposed to. Maybe, hopefully, something I write or at least post will have a positive influence on someone. If that happens with one person, I feel grateful, I feel like I’ve done something good.

Yes, Paul, you’re in The Choir. But thank you for bringing up an important point. We all, every day, should think about the messages we’re sending, and to whom. We can change the world … but it starts with us. We should all change what we say and do to match what we truly, deeply believe.

I’m starting right now. You?

Matt

I Am Not A Second Class Citizen.

I had read about Ellen Degeneres' emotional speech the other day at the beginning of her show, about the hate-crime murder of a 15-year-old California boy, but I just watched it today. Beautiful.

For those opposed to profanity, stop here.

What is so fucking difficult to grasp about this whole concept?? Why do so many people think that the fact that some people are born gay - and yes, that's how it works, kids - means that they are meant to be objects of jokes, ridicule, tauntings, abuse, and murder? That they are second class citizens? That they - WE - aren't people, but something akin to insects that should be brushed aside, tortured for someone's amusement, then forgotten? That the idea that someone being attracted to a member of the same sex - physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually - is so worthy of contempt and disgust that ending their life is a logical conclusion?

If any of y'all just don't get it yet - and I know I'm preaching to the choir - here it is.

Simple. Anyone with a few working brain cells should be able to grasp it:

Celebrate Diversity?

It's been a while ... but once again, it's time for Matterday's jaw to hit the floor from the absurdity of it all!!!

(Hat tip to Pam):

This is just too much to fathom - street preacher Ruben Israel is crying foul because he has been denied being allowed to march in Chicago's Gay Pride Parade. Apparently, the GLBT community and its' supporters are being hypocritical by discriminating against him and others like him, for not accepting them as who they are, for not showing the tolerance that they demand from others.

Of course, my first thought is - are you freakin' kidding me???? You want to march in a Gay PRIDE Parade in order to spread your hatred and inability to accept reality? And then blame us for being intolerant for laughing in your face? Tell ya what, Mr. Israel - when I and my community are invited into your forums, and you actually listen to us - not just hear us - then maybe, just MAYBE we won't think you're an ignorant, hate-filled, opportunistic blowhard. Do I have an "amen"?

However - in what I hope is seen to be true Matterdays style - I am open to hearing other thoughts. Am I missing something glaringly obvious here? Is this a legal issue? Or just an issue of rationality? Isn't a pride parade a privately-sponsored event, with the right to exclude someone who opposes - no, hates - the sponsored group?

Discuss.