You Must Remember This.

“A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.” - Ingrid Bergman

In Which I'm Told I Destroy Marriage and Threaten Children.

Scott and I headed up to Lynnwood yesterday, to buy some more Halloween decorations (Scott has a problem) and to go to Alderwood Mall to find a few new clothes for me. Luckily, Scott has worked in Lynnwood for many years (although he just transferred to Northgate), so he could navigate us around easily - I get lost when I get out of the city. What we didn't expect was to come across hundreds of protesters rallying against Referendum 71 - which is on the ballot for next month's election to uphold Washington State's domestic partnership law, which grants state rights to same-sex couples and domestic partners over the age of 62.

We were enraged. Yes, everyone has the right to hold and voice their opinions - but this was unreal. Apparrently this group came from a Russian Baptist church in Eastern Washington, and has been very vocal in their opposition of granting us and other same-sex couples any rights whatsoever.

What really appalled me was the number of high-school-aged (and younger) kids who were out there holding signs. Yes, we learn values from our parents and families (most of us), but I don't truly believe that these kids honestly know what they're protesting against other than "people who aren't like us". That's what they are learning from this. It's okay to oppress people who you don't know anything about other than that you've been told they are not like you, and therefore not as good as you (or not good at all).

I know, I know ... I'm preaching to the choir, so why even bother?

Because in the off chance that one of those people who were carrying these signs reads - actually reads - this post, maybe they'll think about this.

Quoting the bible isn't enough. The bible was written by man, not god. There are examples (in the Old Testament) you can pull from it that say that homosexuality is a sin. There are examples you can pull from it that say don't wear white after Labor Day, if you want to spin it enough (I wouldn't be surprised if that's happened already). It's really about interpretation of ancient beliefs based on the time they were written. If those books had been written today, they'd have a different meaning. Depending on who would have written them. Interpretation is huge.

Securing rights for domestic partnerships is not tantamount to gay marriage. Sure, it may lead the way - and of course I'm for that - but you're putting the cart before the horse. That's not what this is about.

My big fat domestic partnership is not attacking the sanctity of your opposite-sex marriage. You can be opposite-married all you want. If Scott and I being together has attacked your marriage or any others', there are much bigger fish to fry. Look in the mirror.

Feel an overwhelming need to preserve and protect marriage? Make divorce illegal. I'd be out marching and waving signs for that in a heartbeat.

Think that the very idea of same-sex couples harms children? How? Do a Google search on the percentage of child molesters who are straight.

Think that the way that homosexuality - and same-sex partnerhips - would harm children is that all children will be required to view explicit homosexual pornography in schools and libraries (yes, this is actually an argument that comes up time and time again)? Where did you get that idea? Please tell me where in Referendum 71 this is shown.

Please, those of you who are against these basic civil rights for us - come to my neighborhood. Meet out neighbors. The straight, child-rearing, working and tax-paying and voting neighbors of ours. Ask them of the destruction we have wrought on our neighborhood and their families and their children. Ask them why they allow their children to trick-or-treat at our house. Ask them why they knock on our door when their kids want to see our pets, and actually let them come inside. Ask them why they let us go camping with them and let their kids see us holding hands. Ask them why they bring cans of chicken soup to our house when we have a cold. Ask them why they offer to let us borrow their mixer when ours died and we're trying to make banana bread. Ask them why they ask us to house-sit and cat-sit and bring in their recycling bins when they go on vacation, why they invite us to dinner and parties and why they stop by and talk to us out in the yard, in full view of the world, and laugh with us and wave as they drive by.

And then, look in the mirror and take a good, hard look. And wonder if your god sees them as less than you because they love and accept and yes, sometimes actually TOUCH us.

Referendum 71.

Last May, Washington Governor Christine Gregoire signed into law an expansion of domestic partnership rights that gave same-sex couples and others very close to equal rights regarding "traditional" same-sex married couples.

This has been challenged, and those who oppose this have petitioned and gathered enough signatures to have this put to a vote this fall. While the methods by which they gathered the required number of signatures are dubious at best, this is the law and it now goes to the popular vote.

I encourage everyone to look at both the link above to those who oppose these rights, and to the link to those who are in favor of them.

If you live - and vote - in Washington State, be advised that voting for this referendum means voting for equal rights as domestic partnerships. If you vote against this referendum, you are voting to overturn equal rights for domestic partnerships - and not just same-sex partnerships.

Think carefully. Just think. Try to put yourself in the mind of those who disagree with you - no matter which side you are currently on. Educate yourself. Hear - and listen - to both sides. Decide what you think is really, truly right. Logically, truly, really right.

If you don't live in Washington State, talk to people you know who do. If you don't know anyone who lives here, talk to people you know anyway. Have discussions, dialogue, conversations - not flag-waving, sign-toting, anger-filled deaf-eared protests (from both sides) ... honest dialogue. Listen to each other.

I'm asking a lot.

Just think. Please.

Matterdays Is Alive And Well And Bringing You Pictures, If Nothing Else.

Sometimes lately, I think that I don't have any intelligible thoughts or opinions or news to post. That makes me sad. My head seems to be constantly pre-occupied with work issues ... and once I get home, I'm either in decompression time, or doing chores, or worrying about not getting chores done. When I started this blog, I was unemployed and taking a long break, and had time to breathe and eat and think and write. I miss that. I miss writing things that people would actually read and think about. I miss being able to express myself that way.

I have had to accept some of my shortcomings lately at work and adapt to them, and I'm doing that here, too. I haven't had the time or energy to write and post the way I would like to, so I guess keeping this blog as a purely egocentric album of the passage of my days is what it exists as for now. It'll have to do. It still does me good to have it, and it always does me good to know the friends that I know from this blog experiment. I'm not planning on going away ... but I have to accept the fact that this forum isn't the cathartic outlet I had hoped it would be back when I had the time and energy for it to BE cathartic. Does that make sense?

Anyway - Life is okay these days. Work is work, and takes more of my waking thoughts (and indeed, non-waking thoughts) than I would like, but I'm employed. In this day and age, and in the industry I work in, that alone is a gift. Weather's been good. Scott is a rock for me, as always. I'm a lucky guy.

The current state of acceptance/broken promises/irrationality of my particular minority (I'm a big fag, if you don't already know) is annoying and tiresome. But this column by Mark Morford, whom I truly believe is a superhero and definitely an idol of mine, gives me a little hope, as he always does. (If you're offended by the title of his column, please ignore it and keep reading - it's actually not as blasphemous as it appears at first glance). The hope wanes when I start reading the 800+ comments to his article, but what can you do.

One comment that really stuck with me, though, was one that echoes a thought that I've heard a lot (or paid a lot of attention to) recently. The comment was, "You gays keep 'procreating' your way and see how far it gets you". The gist of this sentiment seems to be that we gays are pushing to have homosexuality be the norm, the majority, and to take over the world.

Even though I don't know what "The Gay Agenda" is, I'm pretty sure this is a big part of the definition. So I'll give the tired, Matterdays-is-sighing response. We don't want to take over the world. We accept the fact that we are a minority. We're okay with that - kinda like it sometimes, quite actually. We just want all y'all to accept - not tolerate, but accept - that we exist, that we are normal and natural, even as a minority, that there's nothing wrong with us, that we are who we are, and let it go. Just let it go. Quit making such a huge ugly deal of it and just let it go.

Okay. Now for a slew of pictures from the past few weeks.

God Hates Pompous, Blathering, Hate-Spewing Inbreds, Too!

Guess who's coming to dinner ...

And two stops right in our own little 'hood, too!

Anyone wanna come to Seattle and watch? I'll bring the popcorn.

You're So Gay. I Bet You Think This Post Is About You.

This pisses me off like crazy. Some former mayor of Raleigh, North Carolina, is vehemently defending himself against the *gasp* accusation that he is gay.

I agree with defending yourself against libel. But this is just ... well ... offensive. The tone of his message is that being gay could be the most horrific thing in the world. "I'm also going to FIGHT to defend my good name" - because, obviously, being gay means your name is shameful and dirty.

Now, I know there are one or two heterosexuals who read Matterdays. And some who stumble upon here from some Google search or other. I ask you, honestly - what would your reaction be if someone accused you of being gay? Even if it wasn't as public as the above story ... maybe in front of a group of friends, or co-workers? I'm looking for raw, honest answers - you won't hurt my feelings or say anything I haven't heard before. I just really am interested in what this would mean to you, since my frame of reference is obviously skewed.

Thanks, all.