Saturday, August 18, 2007
I need to give myself some advice.
Step back. Take a deep breath. A DEEP breath. Close the eyes, don't open them again until the mind is clear. Shake out the dust, the overcomplicated web of everyday minutia that covers everything, forget any petty items that are causing you grief and hurt and misunderstanding, purge the details from yourself and concentrate on who you are. Break yourself down to the most simple essence of yourself. It's there, somewhere. Not lost, not gone, just a little buried.
Stop clenching your jaw and grating your teeth. Relax. Remember who and what you are. Go back to that person.
Listen to more Aaron Copland, like you're doing right now. More Ralph Vaughn Williams, more Percy Grainger, more Paul Hindemith, more Benjamin Britten, more Samuel Barber. Re-read your e.e. cummings, your Paul Bowles. Stare at more Picasso, more Edward Hopper, more Kandinsky, more Gaugin.
You know, all the things you used to do.
And remember the Adlai Stevenson quote you've had memorized for over twenty years:
Your days are short here; this is the last of your springs. And now in the serenity and quiet of this lovely place, touch the depths of truth, feel the hem of Heaven. You will go away with old, good friends. And don't forget when you leave why you came.